Teyona Roberts's Request (24 Jul 2019)

I would like to have my essay proofread. My goal was to examine Robert Herrick's Poem "Here a Pretty Baby Lies" with a psychological approach. Thank you!
ENGL 1102

submitted: Jul 24, 2019
responded: Jul 25, 2019
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  • Teyona Roberts (student)
    July 24, 2019, 11:04 p.m.

    Re-Read your Unit Two Essay. Find a literary idea (not your thesis) within that essay's paragraphs that you would like to explore in more depth. Is it a topic sentence for another structuralist or new critical critique? Is it information in your introduction or conclusion about the author's relationship with the work or placing the work within its social context? Perhaps you want to write a psychological or feminist or historical or moral critique of the poem or short story instead. Now is your chance to take a good idea you've already had about the literature and develop it further using any critique method in Chapter 25 except Reader Response. Critique your chosen short story from Chapter 10 or poem from Chapter 19 in one of these methods: Topical/Historical, Economic Determinist/Marxist, Archetypal/Symbolic/Mythic, or Deconstructionist. Requirements: Focus/Purpose: to analyze and to support an opinion about a work of literature to a primary audience of classmates and instructor and to a secondary audience of literary scholars in a document containing 700-825 words. Content and Support/Elaboration: Your essay must be 6+ paragraphs. Each paragraph must include concrete details from the literature. Each body paragraph must use your research, but only as support for your own ideas, so no more than 10-20% of your paragraph should be researched content. Idea Organization: Create complete paragraphs (topic, supporting details, transitions) organized as needed to support your literary critique. Style: This is not a reader-response essay, so third person writing is required. College-level academic formality is expected as well. Format/Essay Conventions: You should organize this literary critique in a descriptive, definition, or an argument essay structure. MLA: This essay must conform to 8th edition MLA standards. This includes the heading, the page formatting, the in-text citations, and the full citation after the essay.

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    July 24, 2019, 11:04 p.m. - Teyona Roberts

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  • Maria Batty (admin)
    July 25, 2019, 10:13 a.m.

    Dear Teyona, Thank you for sending your essay to Athena. I think you are talking too much about death and not enough about the poem. I don’t see a thesis statement that provides an essay map. Do you have a source for your claim that the poem was shocking in its day? The connection you make between psychoanalysis and the poem is interesting, but most of your other information about the psychology does not really relate to the poem, so the sentences about the poem at the end of paragraphs feel tacked on. Your in-text citations should consist of the first word or two of the Works Cited entry (usually the author’s last name), so a web address is not a correct in-text citation. You should list the poem by the poet’s last name in the Works Cited; the book in which it appears is at the end of the entry, not the beginning. You have some grammatical problems such as informal tone (don’t use contractions), word choice (“ponder” doesn’t need the preposition “on”), and pronoun-antecedent disagreement, but focus on content before you worry about grammar. I hope you find these comments helpful. If you don't understand how to organize your paper around a thesis statement or how to recognize and correct the types of errors I’ve mentioned, come into a lab to work with a tutor face to face (we have five locations), or post specific questions here on Athena. Also, handouts are available at https://success.students.gsu.edu/ltc. Click on Handouts on the left, and then Grammar and Writing Handouts. Good luck! If you have a moment, please cut and paste this address into your browser, and take our survey. Thanks! https://gsu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_1SlyViJ6skhPJcN

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