Suniti Singh's Request (24 Nov 2018)

My essay is argumentative research essay with cited research about Homelessness could be up-lifted towards better future. In this essay, I am arguing instead of giving money we should help them in other ways. I would like to have a help in reviewing my essay, transition sentences and citations. Thank you for your help. Suniti
ENGL 1101

submitted: Nov 24, 2018
responded: Nov 26, 2018
  • method: email
1 Comment:
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  • Maria Batty (admin)
    Nov. 26, 2018, 9:52 a.m.

    Dear Suniti, Thank you for sending your essay to Athena. You should not use 1st or 2nd person or contractions. Your thesis statement, which provides the essay map for the paper, should be at the end of the first paragraph, not the second. I don’t see most of your Works Cited mentioned in the paper. That’s what “Works Cited” means: You mentioned them in the paper. Also, the list needs to be alphabetized. The Rash in-text citation is not formatted correctly. You have many grammatical errors such as fragments and comma splices. Your body paragraphs are too short, and your title is too long. Your conclusion should end on a broad statement reiterating your position, not on a thesis point. I hope you find these comments helpful. If you don't understand how to organize your paper around a thesis statement or how to recognize and correct the types of errors I’ve mentioned, come into a lab to work with a tutor face to face, or post specific questions here on Athena. Also, handouts are available at Click on Handouts on the left, and then Grammar and Writing Handouts. Good luck! If you have a moment, please cut and paste this address into your browser, and take our survey. Thanks!

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