Trion Brown's Request (26 Nov 2018)

I am in need of advisement of my Argumentative Essay, Citation placement, and work cited page. I have gathered the resources form articles via online and books from Gaileo. Please help and Thank you in advance. Attachment: Argumentative Essay
ENGL 1101

submitted: Nov 26, 2018
responded: Nov 26, 2018
  • method: email
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  • Dunwoody Online Writing Lab (tutor)
    Nov. 26, 2018, 10:33 a.m.

    Trion, The main thing that needs to be added to your paper is a stronger thesis, which is the main argument that you are trying to present through your paper. Think of it as if you were building a house. You want a solid foundation because, without it, your house will collapse. Everything in your paper needs to be based on your thesis, which is something that the paper is lacking. Since you do not really have a thesis, the ideas that you are presenting do not have any structure or organization. Also, most of your sentences are either run-ons, comma splices, or incomplete thoughts. What I would advise for you to do is to read each sentence out loud to yourself to make sure that your sentences are grammatically correct. Because of this, your paper is very difficult to read. When quoting T.D. Jakes or anyone else, you have the statement in italics when it does not need to be italicized. Some of the sources you have are not scholarly essays, such at TD Jakes.com and Success.com. Also, your in-text citations and works cited page is not in proper MLA format. I hope you find these comments helpful. If you don't understand how to organize your paper around a thesis statement or how to recognize and correct the types of errors I’ve mentioned, come into a lab to work with a tutor face to face, or post specific questions here on Athena. Also, handouts are available at https://success.students.gsu.edu/ltc. Click on Handouts on the left, and then Grammar and Writing Handouts. Good luck! If you have a moment, please cut and paste this address into your browser, and take our survey. Thanks! https://gsu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6hzzM9kX7sy9aJf

    Discussion:
    Nov. 26, 2018, 8:05 p.m. - Trion Brown

    Thank you!

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