Thank you for sending your essay to Athena. I don’t know what kind of essay it is supposed to be, so I don’t know if you are addressing the prompt. However, you are not taking a formal academic tone. You should not use 1st or 2nd person or contractions. I see many subject-verb agreement errors plus comma splices and run-ons. I don’t see in-text citations, and “Cited Webs” should be “Works Cited.” The entries are not in correct MLA format. Your entire introductory paragraph is inappropriate and needs to go. Look at our handouts (the address is below) for help in organizing whatever kind of paper this is supposed to be.
I hope you find these comments helpful. If you don't understand how to organize your paper around a thesis statement or how to recognize and correct the types of errors I’ve mentioned, come into a lab to work with a tutor face to face, or post specific questions here on Athena. Also, handouts are available at https://success.students.gsu.edu/ltc. Click on Handouts on the left, and then Grammar and Writing Handouts. Good luck! If you have a moment, please cut and paste this address into your browser, and take our survey. Thanks! https://gsu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6hzzM9kX7sy9aJf