David Perez's Request (27 Nov 2018)

Am I using my sources correctly? Are my sentence structure correctly done? Did I correctly develop my ideas and explain/expanded on my thesis?
ENGL 1101

submitted: Nov 27, 2018
responded: Nov 27, 2018
  • method: email
1 Comment:
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  • Maria Batty (admin)
    Nov. 27, 2018, 6:33 p.m.

    Dear David, Thank you for sending your essay to Athena. You need to proofread it carefully. For example: “the process concepts can be taught has evolved. In Danny Mareco’s article, shows why technology is needed within the classroom, “Technology transforms the ... how we learn today (10 Reason Today’s).” From interactive activities where students can work together or engage in a friendly competition and be able to work with student’s different learning styles.” The first sentence doesn’t make sense. The second sentence lacks a subject. The quote has a “the” that doesn’t make sense. The in-text citation is not correct. The last “sentence” is really a fragment. In-text citations go outside the quotation marks, before the final period of the sentence. They should have only author last names and numbers, no first names or “page” or “p.” This is another “sentence” that doesn’t make sense: “In an article from the National Center for Education Statistics "In 2015, the most common ... not available in the area (Kewal Ramani, Angelina, et al., page 58)."” You should not use contractions, and you should not have titles in all caps in the Works Cited. I hope you find these comments useful. If you want more help, come into a lab to work with a tutor face to face, or post specific questions here on Athena. Also, handouts are available at https://success.students.gsu.edu/ltc. Click on Handouts on the left, and then Grammar and Writing Handouts. Good luck! If you have a moment, please cut and paste this address into your browser, and take our survey. Thanks! https://gsu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6hzzM9kX7sy9aJf

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