Phythony Strothers's Request (28 Nov 2018)

Am I meant to point out opposing views throughout my paper or only in one paragraph? Have I properly in-texted cited my quote? Can you clearly define what my points of argument are?
ENGL 1101

submitted: Nov 28, 2018
responded: Nov 28, 2018
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  • Phythony Strothers (student)
    Nov. 28, 2018, 12:34 a.m.

    This is an argumentative essay and feedback on how my essay could be improved is appreciated. In addition, Thank you for taking the time to read and respond. Phythony

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  • Maria Batty (admin)
    Nov. 28, 2018, 9:52 a.m.

    Dear Phythony, Thank you for sending your essay to Athena. You can discuss the opposition in its own paragraph or point-by-point in body paragraphs, but you seem to do a little of both. Your thesis statement does not provide an essay map, so I’m not really sure of your main points; most of the essay seems to be about passage of the law, more than an argument for wider access to medical marijuana. I’m a little concerned that you might be confusing medical marijuana with CBD oil. My understanding (and I could be wrong) is that medical marijuana is actual marijuana (or concentrates, etc. with THC) that one needs a prescription to buy, as opposed to recreational marijuana, which anyone can buy. CBD oil is its own thing. Double-check, and clarify your terminology if necessary. Your in-text citation is not correct. It should be the first word or two of the Works Cited entry, and the newspaper is never the first part of the Works Cited entry. Also, every entry in your Works Cited must be mentioned in the paper. That’s what “Works Cited” means. I hope you find these comments helpful. If you don't understand how to organize your paper around a thesis statement or how to recognize and correct the types of errors I’ve mentioned, come into a lab to work with a tutor face to face, or post specific questions here on Athena. Also, handouts are available at Click on Handouts on the left, and then Grammar and Writing Handouts. Good luck! If you have a moment, please cut and paste this address into your browser, and take our survey. Thanks!

    Nov. 28, 2018, 9:55 a.m. - Maria Batty

    Oops--forgot to mention that you shouldn't use contractions

    Dec. 3, 2018, 10 p.m. - Phythony Strothers

    Thanks so much for your feedback Maria. My argument is that both CBD and Medical Marijuana should be an alternative, acceptable form of medicine, as opposed to heavy, addictive narcotics that are shoved down the throats of American people.

    Dec. 4, 2018, 9:14 a.m. - Maria Batty

    I totally agree! So in your statement above, for example, you should say, "Both CBD and medical marijuana should be alternative, acceptable forms of medicine..." Treat them as two separate (though obviously related) things. Good luck with the paper and your exams!

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