Thank you for sending your paper to Athena. It seems more informative than persuasive or argumentative. You can find a handout on how to structure an argumentative essay at https://success.students.gsu.edu/ltc. Click on Handouts on the left, and then Grammar and Writing Handouts. A basic template for a persuasive essay is something like this: Although some people think _____, in fact ________ because _______, _________, and ______. Or: Some people think _____, but in fact _______, _________, and ______. A persuasive essay needs to take a position.
You need to read this paper carefully. You frequently confuse the terms “mental health” and “mental illness,” which really destroys your credibility. You need in-text citations and a Works Cited page. You should not use 1st or 2nd person or contractions. I notice subject-verb agreement errors and pronoun-antecedent agreement errors.
I hope you find these comments helpful. If you don't understand how to organize your paper around a thesis statement or how to recognize and correct the types of errors I’ve mentioned, come into a lab to work with a tutor face to face, post specific questions here on Athena, or refer to our handouts. Good luck! If you have a moment, please cut and paste this address into your browser, and take our survey. Thanks! https://gsu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6hzzM9kX7sy9aJf