Cortesha Boswell's Request (29 Nov 2018)

I need help revising my essay and correcting my works cited list. Below I attached my rough draft.
ENGL 1101

submitted: Nov 29, 2018
responded: Nov 29, 2018
  • method: email
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  • Maria Batty (admin)
    Nov. 29, 2018, 12:15 p.m.

    Dear Cortesha, Thank you for sending your essay to Athena. You can find a handout on MLA citation at https://success.students.gsu.edu/ltc. Click on Handouts on the left, and then Grammar and Writing Handouts. You should not use 1st or 2nd person or contractions. You need to left-justify the paper. You have many grammatical errors, including comma splices, such as “…innocent lives, it has to stop,” and errors of subject-verb agreement, such as “Easy access … need to have.” You need to read this paper carefully and critically. For example, you write: “Raising the age to purchase a gun can prevent young teens from hurting themselves or others.” If the age is currently 18, then “young” teens are already banned from buying guns. Yet you yourself wrote: “school shootings are caused by students who aren’t old enough to purchase a gun yet they still find a way to cause terror and take innocent lives.” So what difference would raising the age make? I hope you find these comments helpful. If you don't understand how to organize your paper around a thesis statement or how to recognize and correct the types of errors I’ve mentioned, come into a lab to work with a tutor face to face, post specific questions here on Athena, or refer to our handouts. Good luck! If you have a moment, please cut and paste this address into your browser, and take our survey. Thanks! https://gsu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6hzzM9kX7sy9aJf

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