Cortesha Boswell's Request (29 Nov 2018)

I need help revising my essay and correcting my works cited list. Below I attached my rough draft.
ENGL 1101

submitted: Nov 29, 2018
responded: Nov 29, 2018
  • method: email
1 Comment:
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  • Maria Batty (admin)
    Nov. 29, 2018, 12:15 p.m.

    Dear Cortesha, Thank you for sending your essay to Athena. You can find a handout on MLA citation at Click on Handouts on the left, and then Grammar and Writing Handouts. You should not use 1st or 2nd person or contractions. You need to left-justify the paper. You have many grammatical errors, including comma splices, such as “…innocent lives, it has to stop,” and errors of subject-verb agreement, such as “Easy access … need to have.” You need to read this paper carefully and critically. For example, you write: “Raising the age to purchase a gun can prevent young teens from hurting themselves or others.” If the age is currently 18, then “young” teens are already banned from buying guns. Yet you yourself wrote: “school shootings are caused by students who aren’t old enough to purchase a gun yet they still find a way to cause terror and take innocent lives.” So what difference would raising the age make? I hope you find these comments helpful. If you don't understand how to organize your paper around a thesis statement or how to recognize and correct the types of errors I’ve mentioned, come into a lab to work with a tutor face to face, post specific questions here on Athena, or refer to our handouts. Good luck! If you have a moment, please cut and paste this address into your browser, and take our survey. Thanks!

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