Ambrya Murphy's Request (29 Nov 2018)

I would like assistance and a critiqued review of my essay please. Note: that is not my completed works cited list.
ENGL 1101

submitted: Nov 29, 2018
responded: Nov 29, 2018
  • method: email
1 Comment:
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  • Maria Batty (admin)
    Nov. 29, 2018, 4:50 p.m.

    Dear Ambrya, Thank you for sending your essay to Athena. You don’t say what kind of essay it is supposed to be, but it seems more informative/expository than persuasive/informative. You can find handouts on how to structure both kinds of essay at Click on Handouts on the left, and then Grammar and Writing Handouts. Unless your professor specifically said not to, you should provide an essay map as part of your thesis statement. Your first sentence has a comma splice. You have many subject-verb and pronoun-antecedent agreement errors. A sentence ends after its in-text citation, so there should not be a period before the opening parenthesis. I hope you find these comments helpful. If you don't understand how to organize your paper around a thesis statement or how to recognize and correct the types of errors I’ve mentioned, come into a lab to work with a tutor face to face, post specific questions here on Athena, or refer to our handouts. Good luck! If you have a moment, please cut and paste this address into your browser, and take our survey. Thanks!

    Nov. 30, 2018, 8:59 p.m. - Ambrya Murphy

    It was suppose to be persuasive/informative, but thank you!

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