Kemaiya Jackson's Request (30 Nov 2018)

I have an essay due, and it is required that we get a tutors opinion. It's an argumentative essay, and I'm not sure if I showed the opposing side enough. Also, I'm not entirely sure how to do in-text citations or works cited page. I've tried searching it and using OWL but I still don't understand it.
ENGL 1101

submitted: Nov 30, 2018
responded: Nov 30, 2018
  • method: email
1 Comment:
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  • Maria Batty (admin)
    Nov. 30, 2018, 2:46 p.m.

    Dear Kemaiya, Thank you for sending your essay to Athena. You should not use 1st or 2nd person or contractions. A sentence ends after the in-text citation, so the comma goes after the closing parenthesis, not before the opening one. I don’t see an in-text citation for Guis. Sanders should be Sanders and Ramirez. Where is the Works Cited entry for the Quinnipac poll, the 2013 study, and Macalady? Every time you provide a quote or a statistic, even if you paraphrase, you must provide an in-text citation that starts with the first word of a Works Cited entry, which provides all the publication information your reader needs to find your source. You can find a handout on formatting MLA Works Cited at Click on Handouts on the left, and then Grammar and Writing Handouts. The introduction opens with a weak statement. You provide statistics but no citation. You should have a thesis statement with an essay map at the end of the intro. Your conclusion is too short. You should recap each of your thesis points in the conclusion to fill it out. We also have handouts on structuring argumentative essays and their thesis statements. Watch your pronoun-antecedent agreement: You cannot use plural “they” with a singular antecedent such as “individual.” I hope you find these comments helpful. If you don't understand how to organize your paper around a thesis statement or how to recognize and correct the types of errors I’ve mentioned, come into a lab to work with a tutor face to face, post specific questions here on Athena, or refer to our handouts. Good luck! If you have a moment, please cut and paste this address into your browser, and take our survey. Thanks!

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