Thank you for sending your essay to Athena. You should not use 1st or 2nd person or contractions. Your thesis statement does not provide an accurate essay map. You confuse the words (and perhaps the concepts) “appropriate” and “appropriation.” You do not explain the controversy clearly, so the essay itself is confusing.
You have many grammatical errors such as misplaced commas, pronoun-antecedent agreement errors, wrong word choice, and faulty parallelism. You need to proofread carefully. A good technique is to read aloud or to move your lips while reading silently. You will find more errors that way.
I hope you find these comments helpful. If you don't understand how to organize your paper around a thesis statement or how to recognize and correct the types of errors I’ve mentioned, come into a lab to work with a tutor face to face, or post specific questions here on Athena. Also, handouts are available at https://success.students.gsu.edu/ltc. Click on Handouts on the left, and then Grammar and Writing Handouts. Good luck! If you have a moment, please cut and paste this address into your browser, and take our survey. Thanks! https://gsu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6hzzM9kX7sy9aJf