Breanne Jones's Request (06 Dec 2018)

I am not yet done with my essay and am experiencing a bit of a writers block. I need help figuring out which aspects are not clear enough. I would also like some ideas for a conclusion and would like my grammar and usage reviewed.
ENGL 1101

submitted: Dec 06, 2018
responded: Dec 07, 2018
  • method: email
1 Comment:
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  • Maria Batty (admin)
    Dec. 7, 2018, 10:28 a.m.

    Dear Breanne, Thank you for sending your essay to Athena. You’re doing great so far, so just push through, finish up the minority discussion, and then build your conclusion from what you’ve already written. You’re almost done! Then you should read over your paper (out loud preferably, or move your lips silently if necessary). I’ve highlighted some errors in the attachment, such as contractions, 1st and 2nd person, and fragments, but there are more instances of all of these. Your introduction takes a bit too chatty a tone; try to be more formal. I think you mix up the words “lucrative” and “ludicrous.” I hope you find these comments helpful. If you don't understand how to recognize and correct the types of errors I’ve mentioned, come into a lab to work with a tutor face to face, or post specific questions here on Athena. Also, handouts are available at Click on Handouts on the left, and then Grammar and Writing Handouts. Good luck! If you have a moment, please cut and paste this address into your browser, and take our survey. Thanks!

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