Rachel Mcalister's Request (10 Dec 2018)

I am required to submit my unit 4 essay for a tutorial review. The guidelines for this essay are laid out as follows: Your research assignment this semester will be a persuasion/argument essay incorporating research. Choose one of the following topics and compose a 4-6 page research paper that argues a thesis: 3) GMO foods: are they good or bad for us and our world? Why? (chosen topic) 12 pt., Times New Roman font Double-space throughout 1” margins at the top, bottom, left, and right “Normal” spacing between all characters, including after periods. MLA format for in-text citations An MLA-formatted Works Cited page Citations from at least five different acceptable scholarly sources (Use peer-reviewed articles or monographs published by a reputable academic press only. Encyclopedias or non-scholarly internet sources will not count toward this number.) I have attached the file containing the most recent draft of my essay. I would greatly appreciate any thoughts or constructive criticisms you can contribute to my thesis. Thank you!
ENGL 1101

submitted: Dec 10, 2018
responded: Dec 10, 2018
  • method: email
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  • Maria Batty (admin)
    Dec. 10, 2018, 10:10 a.m.

    Dear Rachel, Thank you for sending your essay to Athena. I have highlighted a few examples of grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and comma splices. You should proofread your paper carefully to find more. Also, you should avoid 1st person such as “we” and “our” in order to maintain a formal academic tone. The paper has two problems: First, it is supposed to be persuasive, but it is informative. That is, it does not favor one side of the issue over the other. Your thesis statement should make clear which side the paper favors. While you should present both sides of the issue, you should always clearly favor one: “Some people think ______, but in fact _____” or “While some believe ____, in fact ____” and so forth. Second, you do not correctly cite sources for your information and statistics. Every definition, claim, and number in the paper needs an in-text citation of its source, and every source on the Works Cited page must appear at least once as an in-text citation, which begins with the first word of the Works Cited entry. It’s not enough to mention WHO or a university, for example, which appears in the middle of the entry, because that doesn’t help your reader find the source in your Works Cited. Also, that Works Cited page needs a hanging indent. I hope you find these comments helpful. If you don't understand MLA format, how to organize your paper around an argumentative thesis statement, or how to recognize and correct the types of errors I’ve mentioned, come into a lab to work with a tutor face to face, or post specific questions here on Athena. Also, handouts are available at https://success.students.gsu.edu/ltc. Click on Handouts on the left, and then Grammar and Writing Handouts. Good luck! If you have a moment, please cut and paste this address into your browser, and take our survey. Thanks! https://gsu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6hzzM9kX7sy9aJf

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