Karen Choi's Request (19 Mar 2019)

I have trouble with using proper grammar in my writings and sentence structures. I am also having trouble knowing if I have cited my works right.
ENG 1101

submitted: Mar 19, 2019
responded: Mar 19, 2019
  • method: email
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  • Maria Batty (admin)
    March 19, 2019, 10:02 a.m.

    Dear Karen, Thank you for sending your essay to Athena. For the most part, your sentence structure is pretty good. However, you make frequent errors of pronoun-antecedent agreement, using “they” to refer to a singular “child” or “parent.” (The singular “they” is common in conversation but is still considered incorrect in formal writing.) Speak of people in 3rd person plural (“children,” “parents”) so that you can use “they,” or use “he or she” when referring to one person. Read your paper carefully, looking specifically for that error. I’ve marked some errors in your first two paragraphs (I will try to attach the paper separately). We are not supposed to “fix up” your paper for you, so you should look for and correct similar errors in the rest of the paper. Another thing you do often is use an “expletive construction” (I just learned that term!), which is when a sentence starts with “There is … ” instead of the actual subject. A sentence is almost always improved by removing that construction. So instead of writing, “There are some parents who suffer from depression,” write this: “Some parents suffer from depression.” Also, don’t use contractions (like “don’t”). You should define “DTD.” Your in-text citations have some problems. When you mention authors as part of the sentence (not simply in parentheses), you should use their whole name in correct order: “Maureen Kilrain stated…” In the conclusion, “A victim of child abuse stated” doesn’t make sense because she talks about herself in the third person. Is only part of the quote her words? Then you would put her words in single quotes within the larger, double-quote quotation. Check your source. Your Works Cited page should always start its own page, which you do by inserting a page break, not pushing it down with the enter/return key. It should have hanging indents. “Works Cited” should not be in italics. What is Melbourne’s first name? I hope you find these comments helpful. If you don't understand how to recognize and correct the types of errors I’ve mentioned, come into a lab to work with a tutor face to face, or post specific questions here on Athena. Also, handouts are available at https://success.students.gsu.edu/ltc. Click on Handouts on the left, and then Grammar and Writing Handouts. Good luck! If you have a moment, please cut and paste this address into your browser, and take our survey. Thanks! https://gsu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6hzzM9kX7sy9aJf

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  • Maria Batty (admin)
    March 19, 2019, 10:12 a.m.

    Here are my comments

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    March 19, 2019, 10:13 a.m. - Maria Batty

    Sorry if it looks odd: I had a lot of trouble attaching it. Let me know if you have any more questions. Good luck!

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  • Maria Batty (admin)
    April 1, 2019, 1:23 p.m.

    Sorry, the link I sent for our satisfaction survey is old. If you have time, please copy and paste the new link into your browser and take the survey: https://gsu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_1SlyViJ6skhPJcN Thanks!

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