Thank you for sending your essay to Athena. You don’t include the professor’s instructions, but is this supposed to be the combined elements structuralist analysis? If so, you don’t have enough literary elements (don’t you need four?) or paragraphs (isn’t it 5+?).
You keep leaving the apostrophe out of the possessive Williams. You use 1st and 2nd person and contractions. It appears you are not putting in the slashes to indicate line breaks in your quotes. You say the pauses between each short line create both a sense of importance and a lighthearted feel—that seems contradictory. You might want to develop the theme discussion a little more—“guilt” is very vague, and you hint that this might be more a “sorry, not sorry” situation. Your conclusion is too short, and the title of the poem there is incorrect.
I hope you find these comments helpful. If you don't understand how to organize your paper around a thesis statement or how to recognize and correct the types of errors I’ve mentioned, come into a lab to work with a tutor face to face (we have five locations), or post specific questions here on Athena. Also, handouts are available at https://success.students.gsu.edu/ltc. Click on Handouts on the left, and then Grammar and Writing Handouts. Good luck! If you have a moment, please cut and paste this address into your browser, and take our survey. Thanks! https://gsu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6hzzM9kX7sy9aJf
Maria Batty (admin)
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