Ariel Beasley's Request (22 Apr 2019)

I would like to see if there are any errors in my essay. How to include in-text citations and avoid being repetitive.
ENGL 1102

submitted: Apr 22, 2019
responded: Apr 22, 2019
  • method: email
1 Comment:
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  • Maria Batty (admin)
    April 22, 2019, 2:05 p.m.

    Dear Ariel, Thank you for sending your essay to Athena. You don’t include the professor’s instructions, so I don’t know if you’re answering the prompt. Errors include lack of formal academic tone (contractions, 1st and 2nd person, “Yes,” “Well,” ”Believe it or not,” exclamation points); rhetorical questions; capitalization; pronoun-antecedent agreement; subject-verb agreement; fragments; comma splices; awkward constructions (“The main reason being why is because…”); passive voice; and a complete lack of citations. Any time you quote words or provide a statistic, you must provide at the end of the sentence an in-text citation in (I assume) MLA 8 format: (Smith 256), say, where Smith is the author and 256 is the page number. I’ve attached a handout with more detailed instructions. The fast food discussion seems off-topic; you don’t refer to it in your thesis statement. What are the other healthier options that are more expensive than seafood? I hope you find these comments helpful. If you don't understand how to organize your paper around a thesis statement or how to recognize and correct the types of errors I’ve mentioned, come into a lab to work with a tutor face to face (we have five locations), or post specific questions here on Athena. Also, handouts are available at Click on Handouts on the left, and then Grammar and Writing Handouts. Good luck! If you have a moment, please cut and paste this address into your browser, and take our survey. Thanks!

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